Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend

by Rachael Briggs

The Greeks were bred to quantify
and delight in fights at sea,
but I prefer a logic that
explains things modally...

Foucault's episteme is quite continental
but diamonds are a girl's best friend.
And truth may be grand but it won't pay the rental
on those properties, or even these possibilities.
We lose hope as brains lose scope,
and we all lose our powers in the end,
but M-shaped or square-shaped
these symbols keep their shape:
Diamonds are a girl's best friend.

C.I. Lewis!
Hughes & Cresswell!
Talk to me, Castaneda, tell me all about it!

You may need to say that you're willing and able;
Well, diamonds are a girl's best friend.
You may need to speak of a possible table
that is made of ice,
or roll two dice, and count them twice.
Of course you'll purr when words refer,
but beware when they start to intend:
it's then that your diction invites contradiction.
Diamonds are a girl's best friend.

I've heard there are cases of strict implication
(diamonds are a girl's best friend),
and most modal notions have broad applications:
their use pertains to zombie brains and trolley trains,
and nomic laws, and moral flaws.
Their relevance just has no end,
so if you're convinced, hon,
then stand straight at... Princeton
Diamonds... Diamonds...
- I don't need Quine, gals -
but diamonds are a girl's best friend